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I thought a bit about what I should post for my first blog post on my website that I have just had designed for me and I thought about the nature of the content of what I wanted to write. I could write about a lot of things and some would have relevance to you and some would not be relevant. But I wanted to write something that you could take away with you and say ‘Yes I can actually use that’! I think on the internet there are a lot of good blog posts (and a lot of bad ones!) but many of the good blog posts you would go away and you would probably think to yourself ‘That was a good read but I can’t really remember what it was saying to do. Often it was written in a way to inspire but there is no ‘meat’ with the potatoes. There is no flavour to the juice. So hopefully this post will give you something you can actually go away with and use that will change your life for the better!

Often I write about a divine love, this is the divine love that we are and are constantly discovering ourselves to be. To some people though it may sound not part of life.  I hope that all people I know can discover this divine love, the love of all in the closeness and security of their own heart but for now I just want to talk about something more practical and useful straight away. So what is practical and useful? What do ALL people want? What do all people want that is actually good for them and not detrimental to themselves and their ego? The simple answer I believe is;

HAPPINESS AND CONFIDENCE.

HAPPINESS AND CONFIDENCE (AND THE LINK BETWEEN THEM THAT CREATES SUCCESS OR HOW YOU USE THEM)

We forget this but the formula is simple;

HAPPINESS + CONFIDENCE equals SUCCESS.

Sounds too simple to be true doesn’t it. Sounds too easy. So let’s not make it more complicated!

But here’s the key. It’ not just happiness that creates success and it’ not just confidence. It’s actually how you use these both together in the right way as you go about your day. Think of it like a simple recipe, sometimes you will need more of the confidence ingredient and other time you will need more of the happiness ingredient. Sometimes only happiness by itself will be enough and other times confidence and happiness will be there in equal measure. Other times you may find that only confidence on its own will be enough and that is all you can muster. But here’s the key; never stray from one for too long or your success will suffer. It’s all about the energy flows from one to the other. Its about the way you charm your customers yet show them you mean business. Its about how you can bring both of them together at times to peak in extreme or needed situations! Its about standing real within this and saying this is who I am too AND I VALUE MYSELF. Its about being the best you and a real you that means business. Passion sells more than anything else which comes from happiness + confidence (but only done in the right way!)

Please read this;

IF YOU DO NOT VALUE YOURSELF NOBODY ELSE WILL. IF YOU DO NOT VALUE YOUR SERVICES/ PERSONALITY/ OR WORK THEN HOW WILL ANYONE ELSE! Feel free to sell yourself, feel free to be passionate, feel free to be your happiest self then DON’T look for a reaction off other people! If you be your best and you expect a reaction you will be disappointed. Treat life like a dance and then be strong and know that people will like you better for it. despite what you believe no one wants to be around the ‘unconfident’ you. Isn’t this a relief to finally let go of! If you are your best self then it encourages other people to be their best self. Everyones a winner. This isn’t delusional thinking! look around you – this is the way it works 🙂 We can all lift each other a bit higher, encourage each other to reach our goals, and we should.

If there is one thing I have never understood it’s this. It’s why people don’t compliment each other when they see them doing something amazing. I always used to compliment people and then at times I would step back and say to myself – is something wrong with you?? because it made me feel like an outsider that I was doing it.

Let’s all compliment each other, lets all bring each other a bit higher into the realms of confidence and happiness.

Anyway talking aside, how exactly can we increase our confidence and happiness?

Two simple ways that you can increase your confidence are;

1. Say this affirmation to yourself over and over again until it is hammered into your unconscious mind – ‘I am incredibly self confident. I am unstoppable’ ‘ I am incredibly self confident. I am unstoppable’ over and over until you become that. The don’t stop saying this for the rest of your life.
2. Look for references around you that reinforce your confidence. What this means is as you go about your day notice the small little things that you do that demonstrate confidence and say well done to yourself. Notice where you are succeeding also, so if it is important to be ‘more’ confident at building customer relations then notice where you have related well to people and so on. If it is valuable for you to be confident in situations where you have to sell your service then notice when you have said or done little things (or big) that have demonstrated that. Feel your self gratitude for being confident. Know that the confidence is always there. Know that it is always better than being the unconfident you (no matter what your brain tries to say to you and how people react) and BE happy being confident.

Now two simple ways that you can increase your happiness;

1. Use your body in a way that tells your brain that you are happy. The more outrageous the better! So what this means is move your body like you’re in a happy positive state. Move your body with joy, think of walking as a dance, how can you make your dance more stylish? how can you walk happier, how would you move if you were totally happy? – ask yourself this question then do it! How can you enjoy walking more? Pull your shoulders back, walk with intention, increase the speed at which you walk or slow down and relax it’s up to you! Walk round with a big beaming grin on your face, walk more upright, look up instead of down when you walk and increase the movement and flow in your shoulders as you walk if that feels good. Increase the movement in your face as you express, get really expressive with your face and give it a full work out! How you use your body when you interact with people is also key – think in terms of increasing the movement in whatever you are doing. You can also gesture with your arms too if that is you – it wont be for everyone. You make up the rules. You can decide how to move and use your body and have fun getting creative.
2. Meditate on simplicity. Meditate on the breath. Become simple. Take time to relax and just spend time to BE and nothing else. Sit down on your most comfortable chair make your back straight and just focus on the breath coming in and out of your lungs. Feel it flow in and out your lungs and feel grateful for being alive and that’s it. feel the air flows and feel it fill up your lungs. You will go into life with a clear head and you will realise that life is not so important or life or death in the way that you used to and will appreciate the beauty and the moment around you all the time in life – all from connecting with the breath. The breath is an important thing that we need to connect to not just in meditation but remember to connect to the breath everyday. Your breath IS your life.

These are 2 techniques used for happiness will really increase your happiness both on the spiritual level and on the physical worldly level to give you an amazing feeling of happiness.

Now let’s concentrate on the link between the two – happiness and confidence. Once you have spent a bit of time practising the above techniques and have really integrated these feelings then you can focus on bringing them together in the best possible ways for all range of situations. keep applying and keep adjusting until you reach your goals. There is no real ‘manual’ for this part  it’s just experience but one will feed off the other so keep them both well maintained. So long as your ‘state’ is high then positivity and success will flow from you into your world. You can drop into a more relaxed state too and still maintain your happiness and confidence this is another way that you can be successful. Find what works for you and then trust. If you think it is right then it probably is!

In summary. keep things simple and remember to always get back to the basics happiness and confidence, get back to the simple things and the obvious things in life and keep developing yourself until you actually feel unstoppable and believe that all is possible for you. The world is a plenty with opportunity – make the most of it 🙂

Much love and happiness, Mark 🙂

What is personal power and why am I so adamant to talk about it??

Where does the confusion with personal power lie?

Personal power is the ability to take ‘right action’ in any situation. Right action is the ability to take the action that you know is right in the depth of your heart. It is the action that you know is right for you and will make you happy. Whatever makes you happy WILL make others happy. When you are happy, others are at their happiest. When you are your best self then others are their best self too. When you are your best self then other people will be free to bring out their best selves and become ‘free’ in the process. People will test you first to see how strong you believe in your own joy though. Bring it on!

People try and manipulate you, we might as well accept this. When they see that they have no power to and that you still have the ability to act and be truly yourself and be happy they will come around and show you some genuinity. They will leave their ego to one side and be real with you and start bringing out their own true self and best personality always from that point on. When they try and test you and you still have your own confidence and sense of personal power they will accept it and ‘leave you alone’ knowing you are a person with personal power. They will then become your friend and become ‘free’ in the process. Free because now they have the ability to express themslves in the same way, to be truly themselves without judgement, to express themselves beautifully and freely.

The key to this is that you ‘do’ your personal power in a fair way and not try to control others. Always bear in mind that you are doing this for the highest good for them and for you. You are doing it to free you both. You are doing it because anything else is less than who you are. We all have a right to express ourselves freely and be who we are. To be creative and fun and to be truly ourselves in any situation. This is who we are. So be fair, keep calm and keep demonstrating personal power whatever and keep taking action, keep being yourself. If this situation doesnt work out with this person use your personal power to take action and relate to someone else or do something else.

If this seems superficial then know this. Without going through this superficial ‘part’ first your relationship will continue to be superficial for much longer and you will start to resent not truly being able to be your best self around them. The relationship will then continue to disintegrate and go from bad to worse. All this depends on your ability to demonstrate to people ‘calmly’ that you will no longer be taken for a ride and you are a good person that has both of yours interests at heart. Remember you are doing this for both of your freedom, so that you can relate to each other and really be yourself. This is the key.

So practice this for a while and see the difference it makes in your life.

Note that this will be such a dramatic turn around in thinking that it may feel very uncomfortable at first. But stick with it and have personal power as the long term goal. However the reality of personal power is that you can have it right now at any time. You do it now or not at all. You do it fully or not at all so keep practicing and people will eventually see and realise that you have a positive goal for them as well and that you are a person to be respected.

Personal power is like a muscle and when we exercise it bit by bit every day it grows and with time you will become a confident person and a happy person because you will realise that nothing anyone ever does to me has the power to hurt or affect me because my personal power is always there. My ability to take action is always there and my ability to make new choices is always there.

So start today and see the injection of joy that personal power can put into your life!